ANNE BERNSTEIN, PH.D.
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​Critical Comments on Flight of the Stork, by Anne C. Bernstein Second Edition published by Perspectives Press: (Available now in a Kindle Edition)

... brings into the 21st century the issue of what children understand about where babies come from. Today babies come to their families through sexual intercourse, through adoption, through assisted reproductive technology, through donor insemination and surrogates, through blending of families of origin. And because of this complexity, parents need even more help. Anne C. Bernstein offers that conceretely and supportively. Advanced and reviewers comments on the new version include...

"Where do children think babies come from? You may be surprised by the answers given in this revised and expanded edition of the popular ... title. Bernstein examines how children think differently from adults concerning sex and birth. Page after page of enlightening interviews take us deep into the minds of children three to twelve years old. The interviews demonstrate each child's level of mental development and also show how a child's thinking changes with age. This understanding of child development will help adults communicate better with children about the origins of families as well as the origin of babies. The revision also deals with such 21st century topics as assisted reproductive technology,n donor insemination, and surrogacy. These valuable additions make the book essential even for libraries owning the first edition."
-Library Journal

"Flight of the Stork is must reading for parents who are uncertain about how to talk to their children about sensitive issues, including sex and adoption. Anne outlines developmental stages in terms that are easily understood and describes what children's capabilities and tendencies are at each level... This book is enormously useful in understanding who our children are as well as the outlook and capabilities they bring to any topic we discuss. The truth is that (Anne Bernstein) is describing good parenting skills: listening to your children, understanding your own issues, and responsiveness and honesty and empathy. The book should be on every parent's shelf."
-Pact: An Adoption Alliance (San Francisco) 1994 PACT Praise Book Award winner in the category of Developing Parenting Skills

"When it was first published, Anne Bernstein's Flight of the Stork (helped) parents understand how children come tomake sense of sex and reproduction (and) served as a window to the mystery and wonderment of sexuality and the process of creation from the perspective of the developing child... Bernstein's revised book is a valuable addition to the literature on family life. Her new chapters on adoption and reproductive technology provide wonderful insights into how children think about these topics. She continues to show an extraordinary ability to translate basic research findings into interesting, relevant, and practical information... This book is must reading not only for parents, but for family counselors, mental health clinicians, educators, and all other individuals whose professional responsibilities involve working with children around family life issues."
- David Brodzinsky, PhD. Author, Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self and The Psychology of Adoption

"Anne Bernstein has done a wonderful job of helping adults understand how children organize and internalize information provided for them by adults. The material can be used in a variety of ways by adults who are willing to be adaptable at all--i.e. How do we interpret what children have to say? More importantly how can we encourage them to say more, so that we can understand what they think?... (The book) should be required reading for every person who works directly with children: social workers, teachers, therapists, etc... to help them understand how children learn and understand life events."
-Vera Fahlberg, MD Children's Therapist Author. A Child's Journey Through Placement

"From time to time I have been excited bya book which fills a void and expands my h orizones. With Flight of the Stork, Anne Bernstein has done both. It is at once entertaining and informative; carefully conceived and artfully presented. I recommend it without reservation to those who are interested in helping future generations grow up with healthy attitudes about reproduction and themselves."
- William R. Keye, Mr. MD, Chief Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and In-Vitro Fertilization Program William Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak, MI

On the original Delacorte Press edition:

What a refreshing experience! This is a well-conceived and well-written book, and, beyond this, an aesthetic experience. It leaves stimulating ideas hatching all over the place...To read this book is to embark on a pleasurable, enriching experience. You will find it especially worthwhile if you are interested in developmental psychology, or if you work with families with children. It will, in addition, be titillating if you have children of your own who are asking, and answering, and asking again, the perennial question.
-Carlos Sluzki, M.D., Family Process

Another way to approach Piaget is through works that portray the child's understanding of particular realms of experience...The Bernstein book is richly packed with probing interviews of children, conducted in the style of Piaget.
-Howard Gardner, Ph.D., The New York Times

...(A) much-needed book...Using a minimum of formal terminology yet never wandering too far from the Piagetian structural framework, Bernstein finds some instructive surprises in the stork's bundle, and her book is a natural selection for adults fumbling in the dark for the right words.
- Kirkus Review

...Not just another potboiler on how to tell your children about sex. I would highly recommend this book for sex educators and well-educated, sophisticated parents.
- Wardell Pomeroy, Ph.D., SIECUS Report

...far from pedantic...makes fascinating reading for the layman as well as the professional...in talking with her subjects she obviously accepted them as they were, and they responded with delightful candor...suggestions are offerred specifically for parents. These are presented with sensitivity to both the feelings of parents and to the capacities and feelings of children....Her ideas do make sense, and they make her book not only illuminating but also enjoyable and useful, a delight to read.
- Harry H. Guest, Ph.D. SIECCAN

Helps parents and teachers understand the mythic ways children think about sex and reproduction--and how they process your factual explanations--at various ages.
- MS.

A wise and eminently readable guide for parents...that can make one of your most challenging parental responsibilities not only easier--but downright enjoyable.
-Young Parents Book Club

I recommend this book highly to parents, caregivers and teachers of children both young, and old. You will be delighted with its humor, impressed with the theory and research upon which it is based, and comforted by the respect for children and their parents that the author brings to her writing....not content with mere description, Bernstein provides suggestions for talking with children that are based on common sense, a desire to respect individual values, an insistence on including feelings in the communication process, and reflection of the careful scientific base underlying her interpretation of the data she has collected from children. And the touchy issues...are not ignored.
-Young Children



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Critical Comments on Yours, mine, and ours: How families change when remarried parents have a child together, by Anne C. Bernstein Published by Charles Scribner Sons and W.W. Norton.

"Open any page and there are valuable insights on it for anyone considering an addition to their stepfamily. Beautifully written, this book is an important contribution and fills a long-neglected gap in information for remarried couples."
-Drs. Emily and John Visher, Founders, Stepfamily Association of America Authors of Old Loyalties, New Ties

"Yours, Mine and Ours is the libretto of the stepfamily opera. Not only is each character in the stepfamily drama introduced and described but the complex interactions among them over time are reported with insight and understanding. "Yours, Mine and Ours is the first book on stepfamilies to examine each stepfamily role in detail and to map how that role contributes to a family member's particular experience of the stepfamily. Stepfamily members will find these descriptions very familiar and validating. Professionals will find a wealth of information about normative development of stepfamily roles and behaviors. This book will be useful for evaluation and treatment of these complex family configurations."
- Jamie Kelem Keshet, Ed.D., Author, Love and Power in the Stepfamily

"Anne Bernstein's book provides a delightful journey through the process of family formation under challenging circumstances. She writes with a friendly empathetic tone, yet also is a careful and thoughtful researcher. I think this is a book that will be of great help to both parents and children.
-Samuel Osherson, Ph.D. Author of Finding Our Fathers

"Should be required reading for therapists, social scientists and parents alike. Based on interviews with fifty-five families, Anne Bernstein's book enlightens us as no one has before about the joys and sorrows, the gains and losses for each adult and child when a baby is born into a stepfamily. Engaging and exciting to read, Yours, Mine and Ours gives us profound insight into the possibilities of healthy growth and development outside the traditional nuclear family.
-Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D. Author of Gender Born, Gender Made and Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates

"An in-depth study of the changing family dynamics when a divorced, widowed, or single parent has a child with a new partner. Based on interviews with over 50 families, it offers helpful, authoritative advice on such vital points as how to parent together when one is a veteran and the other a first time parent, and how having a mutual child affects the marriage. It explores how older children react to a new baby and how best to prepare them, emphasizing age gaps that seem to promote good half-sibling relationships, as well as what it's like for the "ours" child-- pressures and privileges. Particularly interesting is the "child's eye view" of the complex network of relationships created by remarriage. Knowing how other families have faced similarly difficult periods can help remarried couples avoid damaging mistakes while preparing them to face the challenges of creating a stepfamily that works for all.
- Family Therapy Resources list of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists

Also available in German as:
Die patchwork-familie: Wenn Vater oder Mutter in neuen Ehen weitere Kinder bekommen. Zurich: Kreuz Verlag, 1990

Deine, meine und unsere Kinder: Die Patchwork-familie als gelingendes Miteinander. Freiburg Basel Wien: Herder, 1993.
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